News & Views
Tim Stone - February residential update
written by Tim Stone
published on 15th March 2005
Well then - the February residential where to start? Maybe the best place to start is before we even arrived. From talking to my peers, the current trainees, and previous graduates I know that the common feelings prior to the February residential are often a mix of anticipation and trepidation. I must admit that these were two emotions which I experienced in greater measure the closer I came to the event, both geographically and chronologically. I was excited but I was worried.
The first residential had been an awesome experience and the bond between us as a group seemed to have been established quickly. Friendships were formed and experiences shared. These were people I was excited to be around and who wanted more of God and more from themselves, and it was fair to say I liked them. Dalesdown had become for us a safe haven, even a byword, for friendship, learning and laughter. Yet this time it seemed different, this was the ‘Deliverance’ residential! I was worried all my skeletons would be exposed and people would find out what I was actually like. That the ‘Immovable mover’ would uncover all those things which I have tried to conceal within me for far too long. It would hurt and when everyone knew what I was really like they would, in short, shun me.
Okay so I am exaggerating (slightly). Yet I was feeling worried, what did God want to do with me this week? (I like to know these things so I can prepare by rationalising my sinful actions, and so try to set myself above conviction). Yet I didn’t really know; I didn’t even know what I wanted God to do. What I did have was a determination not to look for that ‘quick fix’, I didn’t want some spiritual high to make me feel better, I wanted to meet with my God. This was my heart but I did not have a clue what or how things would happen. The word ‘Deliverance’ conjured up visions of vomit and screaming, weird voices and people being thrown across rooms. This, it is fair to say, made me more worried.
We arrived and it was great to see everyone the worries were blocked out in the joy of seeing friends and experiencing Uno extreme. It was comforting to find out that the other trainees were experiencing similar worries and feelings. As the week went on it was amazing to see how far everyone had come since that first residential, every single person had changed for the better. There was a very real sense that God still wanted to do stuff and it was great to see pretty much everyone still wanted more from Him. So God did things especially, but not exclusively, in the deliverance session, there were tears, there was joy and no sign of vomit , not even a hint of screaming, thankfully!
Yet the week was about so much more than deliverance. The small groups were amazing, the worship was great, the sessions were interesting and thought provoking. It was great to spend time with people in the breaks and the evenings, enjoying conversation and the varied delights of playing Uno. We also had the cabaret, the assault course and snow! It was a brilliant week where we had fun and did business with God.
Looking back now the most important thing I learned was how little I know and trust my God. I didn’t walk face first into a huge marble pillar; instead I met the most powerfully gentle being in the universe. I met someone who could draw out those things that I have hidden within me, yet still leave me intact and feeling safe and secure. I also realised how He uses His people to help in that process. Another thing is that confession itself is a step of faith and that to speak with someone of those dark places is to really trust and be vulnerable. I learned the beauty of light and the pain of walking into it. Also I learned how a single word of encouragement at the right time can make a huge impact and change someone’s entire mood in a nanosecond. I learned a lot and it took me a couple of weeks to wade through it all.
Some of the things God brought up on that week I am still dealing with, some are not as big as before. It was the start of a personal process for many (if not all) of us who were there. I know that I am further along on my journey in Faith than I was before, or would be if I had not gone on the residential. It was a hard week, but a great week and I am free where I was not before, which I am so thankful for. However, the most important thing was that I met my Father and found that He really does love me no matter what.
It was a fantastic week!
